ALL ABOUT AQUARIUS
If there was a land of Aquarians, and you could go there, it would be a place where the men were men, the women were women, and all their partners in every conceivable combination were as satisfied as satisfied could be.
Don’t make the mistake of thinking that they’re wishy-washy just because they were named for the constellation Aquarius (The Water Carrier). Aquarians float the middle of the stream more than most. But this either or, maybe maybe not, think I will think I won’t, way of operating is self-oriented; you better behave right by them. When it comes right down to it, they’re going to do whatever or whoever they feel like doing…maybe that’s you, maybe this time it’s me but it’s always going to be someone they choose when they’re ready to choose.
I once accused an Aquarian of being lazy. He wasn’t, he replied, he’d just lost interest in the task at hand; there were plenty of things he was interested in, and he was quite enthusiastic when involved in them. Not lazy then, but still not a fan of hard work; they’ll order the easy-assemble St. Andrew’s cross Kit before they’ll saw the wood and pound the nails in order to build their own.
If there was a land of Aquarians, and you could go there, it would be a place where the men were men, the women were women, and all their partners in every conceivable combination were as satisfied as satisfied could be. They are a devoted, friendly bunch; open-minded, tolerant, and playful. The less easy going in their circle may perceive their spontaneity as them being annoyingly unpredictable and their ability to move on as an inability to commit, and they’re a little bit right. As in the moment as the next person when it suits them and still non-committal is just another way to describe that feeling that haunts them that there might be something shinier and slicker over there. Aquarians are intellectual, enjoy good conversation, and can dish out a double-meaning better than most.
All that free-love stuff associated with Aquarius is intriguing isn’t it? Well, go with it if you want, but don’t bother with any pretense if it’s you that’s up to something extra-curricular. If you’re screwing the neighbor, or your boss, or your old girlfriend or boyfriend, the pizza delivery guy—whoever—don’t lie about it. You probably won’t have to stop it, but you’d better tell the truth. Aquarians are delighted by the differences of the world. Ever fuck someone when you were completely naked and they were fully dressed? Probably an Aquarian—there’s really nothing left but to love them just the way they are. Seriously, they’re never going to change.
Toy with them if you dare and chain (figuratively and literally—they’re not adverse to a little hard core play) them if you must, just leave the key within reach; they need to know that they are free to go whenever they want. Don’t tell them you’re not done as they head out the door, and do not make a scene because they will not come back. Most importantly do not bore them -- they will treat you like you have the plague.
The ankles and calves are Aquarian hot spots. Who can resist delicately turned ankles and tapered calve muscles flashing briefly beneath a long but slit high skirt; slipping out of the rumpled bed sheets; stretched and straining in muscled masculine glory to reach the very highest shelf? Offer the massage, oil the calves, rotate the ankles and they will be most appreciative of the knowledge, that even though you know what’s on offer at the juncture of those fabulous legs, you are willing to start way down at the bottom and work your way up.
The Aquarius Woman
This woman is not much different than her male counterpart. Out there (maybe while you’re waiting at home) and looking for something to keep herself busy and entertained. She doesn’t like clingy jealous types, doesn’t like being controlled, but oddly also doesn’t really like the confrontation of ending something if it gets to the point of not working. She might even go out of her way to upset you giving you reason to get rid of her, or giving you reason to leave. And another thing, you’d better know her name that first time you bed her; don’t even try faking it, because she’ll know, and you’ll be gone faster than you came -- if you even get that far. See, not quite as easy-going as you thought.
The Aquarius Man
The Aquarius man is an intellectual, and wants a mind to go with the warm body he’s bedding. He’d like you to be right there with him, and you’d better pay attention so you’ll know exactly how it is that you’ve ended up strapped to the coffee table therefore able to return the favor if asked. A veritable roller coaster of rides in the bedroom, kitchen, living room, and basement and balcony will keep you screaming for more. If you’ve missed doing it somewhere in the house it just means they haven’t had you there—yet. All good things come in time.
Aquarius and Their Lovers
AQUARIUS AND ARIES
Aries’ aggressiveness coupled with Aquarian inventiveness provides a platform for loads of fun. Neither likes to be controlled or dominated (unless in play) and this should work, in fact could should would work if Aries relaxed for a minute and shed their own need to control everyone else—but they can’t. Aquarius will not have it; not that way, not this way, not if you continue to tell them how it’s going to be. When Aquarius calls it quits Aries can’t believe they’ve been cut loose and their attempts to stay firmly betwixt and between Aquarius body parts only irritates our Water Bearer even more. I didn’t like you before; now you’re stalking me and I hate you. There is no going back.
AQUARIUS AND TAURUS
Stop it. No, really, don’t even go there. Nope. These two are complete opposites. What Taurus needs, which is essentially to be needed and heeded, Aquarius cannot provide. Oh, maybe in little fits and starts but not consistently because at all times someone else needs them some where else, probably, or most likely they will…at some point. And when the call comes in for help over there, the fact is that they are going to go. And Taurus cannot abide inconsistency or being told one thing and delivered another. Just keep moving along, nothing to see here…unless you’re into disaster reality shows.
AQUARIUS AND GEMINI
Both love to socialize and want a relationship without the upheaval of jealousy and restraint but where’s the passion in that? Together, The Water Bearer and The Twins are just two (or three if you count both twins) airy fairy artsy fartsy out there thinkers just out there thinking of something. Little known fact: out there people actually bore out there people once the initial bonding of holding hands sameness is done. (I’m a little bored just thinking about these two together.) Bottom line is that if you’re doing it missionary style or fetish fantastic—sameness breeds contempt. They can go from thinking that the other one’s the greatest to finding them incredibly tedious in the time it takes to change their socks. Get it while it’s hot then move on.
AQUARIUS AND CANCER
The Aquarian tendency to scan the horizon for possibilities even when they’re physically with you only compounds Cancer’s inherent feelings of being unwanted and neglected. This is amplified by the fact that an Aquarian is openly affectionate with most everyone that crosses their path. Cancer needs that very attention and affection all for themselves—they crave it. The less they get the more they need and as much as they try to be the person that Aquarius needs them to be they just can’t let go. Cancer may even open the gilded cage they try to keep Aquarius in but, they can’t help but grab hold as Aquarius flies by. End result -- no tail feather -- empty nest -- no tail.
AQUARIUS AND LEO
This is a better situation; lots of hot sex to start things off. The inventiveness that is Aquarius complements Leo’s energy and physicality. An “I’ve been thinking...” and a “Watch me do...” find each other. No need to ply the other with a glass of wine over a romantic dinner. Call midday and tell them what you’ve been thinking, and by the time you get home they’ll have tied themselves to the bedpost. Things start to unravel when “I am the world,” Aquarius realizes, that to Leo, the world is Leo.
AQUARIUS AND VIRGO
There may be a meeting of the minds here, but thigh to thigh, ass to cock, tongue to nipple, hip to hip, won’t press up against each other for long. Oh there’s always the first time or two, but when Aquarius starts bringing home “old friends”, Virgo will change the locks and kick everyone out. And just in case you think there’s gonna be a way back...there isn’t.
AQUARIUS AND LIBRA
Libra won’t change the locks; they’ll have extra keys made. These two are diplomatic enough to maneuver each other. Neither will attempt to curtail the others’ activities at the risk of losing a partner that tolerates their own behavior. Neither minds that there is an ankle bracelet and an attached chain as long as no one pulls it back in. They both enjoy socializing, entertainment, and the arts. They will go to the gallery opening and have fun at the after-party picking out strays to bring home and play with together.
AQUARIUS AND SCORPIO
Hot with a forecast for more heat. To these two, after-sex bruises, and ripped clothing is normal—and that’s when they’re taking it easy on each other. Both enjoy the fact that they don’t have to act like the marks still visible some days past should be hidden. They wear them with honor. Scorpio men or women will take as much as they can and give as good as they get as often as they can, and this suits the Aquarian just fine. If Scorpio can control the possessiveness that is their inner demon, then Aquarius might just stick around awhile; goodness knows they want to.
AQUARIUS AND SAGITTARIUS
Practically a free-love, jealousy-free zone; both want to go new places, and to have fun with the new faces they find there. And if it’s dark in the dungeon and they can’t see the face that comes with this new place—so what! They both may shun the real ties that bind, but will enjoy each other inside and out while it lasts.
AQUARIUS AND CAPRICORN
Aquarius wants to be free and Capricorn wants to contain. Short-lived at best; but you can’t have a one-night, one-week, one-month stand without someone to have it with, and then there has to be a reason to move on, so these types of pairings are quite necessary in the grand scheme. Go find your beloved soul-mate somewhere else; but for now, could you bend over the arm of that couch and let me in?
AQUARIUS AND AQUARIUS
These two do like each other —but like is not “must have.” It’s the difference between doing it during the commercial and stopping when the show comes back on or thinking you will drown in your own pussy juice if you don’t have that rock hard cock inside you right fucking now. Can’t speak for everyone of course, but I prefer the later -- repeatedly. The beauty of these two together is that they can come and go in the relationship over a period of time (sometimes extended) without the common emotional restraints of more common relationships. It can be joyous longevity or fleeting and hot—they’ll work it out between them to a mutually satisfying level.
AQUARIUS AND PISCES
Pisces, in their deep-seated dreamy way, will go along with whatever Aquarius comes up with. To keep this going, Aquarius will have to tell Pisces that they love and need them at the breakfast table, and make it as convincing as they did last night when they were on the down stroke of the paddle that they talked their little Fish into wielding. Pisces needs reassurance on a regular basis, and “right there baby, nobody hurts me like you do, I love you,” only works in the heat of the moment. Can Aquarius keep this up? Probably not but they will give it a good try because sex with The Fish just feels right.